An upcoming dinner party (with conversation subject)

Whilst the rest are fast asleep here in suburbia I take a stroll to the other side of the river. Sirens are shifting between loud and super loud before the night fades into silence somewhere around the second bridge. When I've passed it it's all dead quiet again and I start to recognize the city.

It looks like someone has put white dust where it's usually grey, but I (constantly) remind myself that this is what the Swedish winter is; cold, dark, white, silent.

I think about the trumpet I found in the melting snow the other day, and that too reminded me of how it is over here in the winter. One sunny day it will all melt and underneath these sheets of white, lies treasures waiting to be uncovered.

Last time I was walking here on a winter night thinking about trumpets, I was listening to "The heart of Saturday Night", the second album from Tom Waits. When I first moved to the Big City I used to walk around all night, reluctant to even try to sleep. The noises from outside turned my insomnia into curiosity, and it wasn't long before I found myself doing long walks through the city and it's different spheres. Thinking; where was I, who was I, and what was I even doing there? Very existential questions to be asked that late at night I suppose, but during the days I just ran on autopilot so to speak. Hustling for a quid, looking for a place to belong and such. When I met someone I could talk to I would tell them all about my life and then listen to their stories. And then I returned to the solitude of my rented room, convinced that I would never meet them again in the Big City.

Now I'm not new to the city anymore, (even if I took a wrong turn yesterday) - and now I am even recognized once in a while. An old acquaintance, someone I used to work with or a shop-keeper who remembers my usual. That sort of stuff makes me feel like home, like I haven't been away at all. But then I hear "don't I know you"? from behind my back and I turn around to see this lovely girl I met a couple of times back in London. We speak for a while and say goodbye, and I decide that I will invite her to that dinner party in a couple of weeks.

When I'm out on the street I once again hear the phrase "don't I know you"? and I turn around. In front of me is a total stranger. I ask where we might have met and she says:

- "Oh now I remember. You look like this kid who I used to see wander around here a couple of years back. Mostly late nights when I got back from the hospital. I'm a nurse you see and I live up there (she points on a building not far from where I used to live). I remember this kid because he was always wearing a nice suit, just like you are now. I always wondered why he was walking around by himself every night".

- "I am an insomniac I'm afraid" I answer with a nervous chuckle.

- "Oh, really. Then you should try sleeping pills maybe. Must be awful not being able to sleep. Myself I just fall asleep by thinking of my pillow. Gotta go now, nice to see you again, bye"! she says before strolling down the stairs to the subway.

I press play on my Ipod shuffle. This song comes on.

I am so dazzled that one of the clips on my suspenders break.